Mouth Full: Listen, Man. I’m going to need my strength if you want me to help you dig the grave in the backyard.
* * *
One of my roommates and I are co-enthusiasts of the French fry. Hence, a beautiful friendship flourished; when both of us are home at the same time, he makes fries and we eat them together. However, one time, we did not:
Famished after having taken a nap, I emerged from my bedroom to seek sustenance. When I arrived at the kitchen, I found my roommate eating the last of the remaining batch of French fries. I gaped at him in horror. Feelings hurt, I uttered, “You made French fries? And ate them without me?” As he is never affected by my dramatic and emotional disposition, he explained, nonchalantly, “Oh, I didn’t think you were home. You always come out from the smell when I’m making them.” Shocked, devastated, and still sleepy, I retreated to my bedroom for I could not bring myself to eat anything else.
* * *
Last month, on my way to New York-New York (Las Vegas Hotel & Casino), I experienced my first love-at-first-sight. The airport security officer and I met when he politely requested that he send my bag through the X-ray machine for an additional scan. Perhaps it was because he caught me in a vulnerable position as I was barefoot at the time, or because I felt special that he picked my bag out of all the other bags to place back onto the conveyor belt, or because I was just hungry, but I was suddenly flushed with tingly dreamy feelings for him. When he returned with my bag, he locked his eyes with mine and informed me that he needed to confiscate my bottle of aloe vera gel, facial moisturizer, facial toner, contacts solution, and a bottle of yogurt smoothie. His arms were wrapped around my toiletries and what was to be my on-the-go lunch. I was no longer feeling tingly; instead, I felt shaky. I was stunned. Oh, how haste affairs of the heart can be. I responded, “Oh, I see.” He expressed his deep apology. “I thought you were going to let me take all my greater than 3.4 ounces of liquid with me,” I said. He said, “It’s not like that. You know I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t have to. Hey, is there anyone at the drop off area you could run and give these to?” I could tell he hated seeing me in pain. “No, there isn’t. They’re long gone. I was dropped off an hour ago.” He apologized again, “I’m sorry. I really wish I didn’t have to do this.” I replied, “I know…I must go now.” As I walked away, I could feel him standing there, helplessly watching me go off toward my gate, with the fluorescent lights beaming down on me.
I was so blue that even past security inspection, I was unable to purchase another on-the-go lunch. And on board my flight, I was unable to accept my airline’s complimentary beverage.