Blog Archives

Me At Cheeseboy

11/27/2012

ME: Hi, can I have the veggie melt? But without the roasted red peppers... or the onions. Or the tomatoes.

I just want the spinach. And the cheese... and the bread.

CHEESEBOY GIRL: You want a Make Your Own.

I laugh.

She does not laugh back.

CHEESEBOY GIRL: Would you like chips or soup with that?

ME: I'll have a Vitaminwater.

tofurky for me

11/16/2012

Heading to Dallas for Thanksgiving next week, and just checked in with my cousin on the meal plans. What she had to say:

"I don't know what we're doing. My mom invited Holly and her family [who are also Chinese]. I hope she doesn't turn Thanksgiving into something Chinese."

I know this is a Chinese Christmas, but you get the idea.

Don't we all.

spelling bee

11/14/2012

I asked my 7 year-old cousin to write me a note to remind me to take home my ring that I left at her house. I was thinking that no matter where she left the note, I'd eventually see it and then go fetch my ring from my aunt's jewelry box.

I was at her house 3 days ago. I found this inside my bag today.

Yes, that is written in lime green crayon - on a little corner of a piece of paper.

And it says, "Don't furget ring".

What can I say? Other than, she sounded did out.

You had me at 'Whitney you bitch.'

11/12/2012

From: [An-Aussie-Friend-I-Know-From-NY]
To: [Another-Aussie-Friend-I-Know-From-NY]; [An-Irish-Friend-I-Know-From-NY]; Ms. Soup; [A-Canadian-Friend-I-Know-From-NY]
Sent: Thursday, October 18, 2012 7:39 PM
Subject: <3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVsfOSbJY0

From: [An-Irish-Friend-I-Know-From-NY]
To: [An-Aussie-Friend-I-Know-From-NY]
Cc: [Another-Aussie-Friend-I-Know-From-NY]; Ms. Soup; [A-Canadian-Friend-I-Know-From-NY]
Sent: Friday, October 19, 2012 10:57 PM
Subject: Re: <3

YES!!

I remember the first time I watched this and being so confused...

This just made my Friday so much better.

From: [A-Canadian-Friend-I-Know-From-NY]
To: [An-Irish-Friend-I-Know-From-NY]
Cc: [An-Aussie-Friend-I-Know-From-NY]; [Another-Aussie-Friend-I-Know-From-NY]; Ms. Soup
Sent: Monday, November 12, 2012 8:09 PM
Subject: Re: <3

And now... it's Thanksgiving!

From: Ms. Soup
To: [A-Canadian-Friend-I-Know-From-NY]; [An-Irish-Friend-I-Know-From-NY]
Cc: [An-Aussie-Friend-I-Know-From-NY]; [Another-Aussie-Friend-I-Know-From-NY]
Sent: Monday, November 12, 2012 8:27 PM
Subject: Re: <3

OH MY GOD.

From: [An-Aussie-Friend-I-Know-From-NY]
To: Ms. Soup
Sent: Monday, November 12, 2012 8:36 PM
Subject: Re: <3

cyno geno phobia

11/11/2012

Right now I'm alone in a house with these 2 dogs.

One of the dogs keeps humping the other one.

Hot Chips for Brekkie

11/9/2012

1 of 3 BFFs (the one who lives 10,090 miles away) in his new apartment - in Sydney AUSTRALIA!!

Check out the trees.

That is all.

"Election Day"

11/6/2012

This post is about Tactless Bitch, also
known as Queen Bee.

Also known as Tactless Bitch.

She waltzes into my office suite to talk to one of my office neighbors, "Today's Election Day." Because, evidently, he must be the only person in America who doesn't know. She continues, "Mitt Romney and Scott Brown are like monsters to me. I mean, even if we were just in a room together and I met them, I wouldn't like them."

I should have interjected, "Hey, Bitch. Keep your fucking politics to yourself. Have some class and save that shit for a more appropriate place." (Like a critically-acclaimed blog such as mine.)

OR:

“Yeah, you don’t have to worry about that. If they were ever in the same room as you, they’d get the fuck out of there. So you wouldn’t even have any time to meet them.”

OR:

“Hey, Bitch. I voted for Mitt and Scott. I’M A MOTHAFUCKING MONSTAAAHHHH!!!!!” (Since we’re in Boston, I would drop the R.)

I look good with my sticker.

Real good. Here's another one.

And in B&W.

I. LOVE. IT.

11/2/2012

When someone recognizes that I’m offended.

(I am not being sarcastic.)

Preface
I sent a copy of my academic statement of purpose
to a local editing company to request a quote.

From: [email protected]
To: Ms. Soup
Sent: Thursday, November 1, 2012 4:28 PM
Subject: Client proposal - Whitney

Dear Whitney,

What you have so far is good. However, as always, there is much that can be improved upon. I attached a client proposal for you to review. We would like to have one of our editors spend two hours editing your academic statement of purpose. The editor will be focusing on how to make your statement as compelling as possible including making structural changes and pointing out some helpful additions you can make. Then we will return your edited statement to you so you can make revisions. Then you can send it back to us to have the editor spend one more hour reviewing your statement to make it perfect.

As your statement stands, you answer the questions well. But with our help we will be able to connect your answers together to create a better narrative flow. We edit many statements of purpose and our clients have a very good success rate and getting into their choice programs.

We hope to be able to work together. Please let us know if you have any questions. Feel free to call us at 617-555-2855.

Best,
Daniel

Editors

p: 617.555.2855
web: www.editors.com

Editors
Street, City, MA
www.editors.com

Project Proposal/Quote

Client Name
Ms. Soup

Date
November 1, 2012

Project Description
Academic Statement of Purpose

Projected Project Quote
Line by line edit:

Address grammar, spelling, punctuation, and word choice, including marginal comments suggesting changes to style and organization of the section.
Address potential ESL challenges (restructuring sentences and working closely with syntax and meaning)

3 hours of work
Rate: $60/hour
Estimated total: $180
Grand Total: $180

Projected Project Timeline
Completed edit to be returned to client by TBD.

From: Ms. Soup
Sent: Friday, November 02, 2012 10:26 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Client proposal - Whitney

Dear Daniel,

What does the project proposal mean when it says 'address potential ESL challenges'?

Thank you,
Whitney

From: [email protected]
To: Ms. Soup
Sent: Friday, November 2, 2012 10:37 AM
Subject: RE: Client proposal - Whitney

Dear Whitney,

We are sorry that remained in the proposal. Some scholars and applicants of all sorts study, write and apply to schools here, and yet make an occasional grammatical error because English is not their first language. We have that in our template to cover such occasions--you obviously will not require it.

Please let us know if we can be of extra help.

Best regards,
Dr. Editor

* * * *

If their services were cheaper, I would've immediately agreed to do business with them after getting their email (from a doctor), acknowledging my being offended, and trying to make it up to me.
I mean, I was so touched.

(I am not being sarcastic.)

Me At Cheeseboy

tofurky for me

spelling bee

You had me at 'Whitney you bitch.'

cyno geno phobia

Hot Chips for Brekkie

"Election Day"

This post is about Tactless Bitch, also
known as Queen Bee.

Also known as Tactless Bitch.

I look good with my sticker.

Real good. Here's another one.

And in B&W.

I. LOVE. IT.

When someone recognizes that I’m offended.

(I am not being sarcastic.)

Preface
I sent a copy of my academic statement of purpose
to a local editing company to request a quote.

If their services were cheaper, I would've immediately agreed to do business with them after getting their email (from a doctor), acknowledging my being offended, and trying to make it up to me.
I mean, I was so touched.

(I am not being sarcastic.)

Cabbages

Artichokes

This post is about Tactless Bitch, alsoknown as Queen Bee. Also known as Tactless Bitch.

I look good with my sticker.

Real good. Here's another one.

And in B&W.

When someone recognizes that I’m offended.

(I am not being sarcastic.)

Preface I sent a copy of my academic statement of purpose to a local editing company to request a quote.

If their services were cheaper, I would've immediately agreed to do business with them after getting their email (from a doctor), acknowledging my being offended, and trying to make it up to me. I mean, I was so touched.(I am not being sarcastic.)

Cabbages

Artichokes

This post is about Tactless Bitch, also
known as Queen Bee.

Also known as Tactless Bitch.

Preface
I sent a copy of my academic statement of purpose
to a local editing company to request a quote.

If their services were cheaper, I would've immediately agreed to do business with them after getting their email (from a doctor), acknowledging my being offended, and trying to make it up to me.
I mean, I was so touched.

(I am not being sarcastic.)