- “Son, don’t wave with your egg roll.”
- “Why don’t you wear your Doctor Martens today?”
- “Whitney’s soup 8/9/2011”
The day I came across this Post-it note, I developed a fear bigger than my fear of dogs (it’s called cynophobia* and it is very real). It appeared as though Whitney’s soup had been found and, therefore, my blogging purpose was no longer valid. I mean, I started my blog mission on July 2nd – a blog that only lasts 5 weeks? That’s unheard of. Once a blog has begun, it’s meant to last for ages. Surely, I was in disbelief.
I dealt with this newfound anxiety the same way I deal with all my anxiety issues: I emailed/texted a picture of the note to all my friends (another fear I have is that I die without my friends knowing every detail of my day-to-day life [which stems from my other fear of dying, suddenly, at any given moment, as opposed to when I’m averaged to at age 81.58 or from an actual cause of death]) with the subject, “No Joke,” and then panicked, held my breath, eventually breathed out, eventually breathed in, eventually breathed in and out repeatedly, and then before I knew it, it was time for bed. Long story short: Someone pissed me off the next day, giving me something to write about. My blog still serves a purpose.
* * *
Because I “don’t eat meat,” one of my relatives left this note next to a bowl of soup for me to distinguish from other soup I may come across. Because I “don’t eat meat,” at Thanksgiving, these above-mentioned Chinese people have me sit at “the kids table,” or what is really, “the discriminated table,” which consists of the 2 kids and the anorexic. The note helps remind me that I am distinguished, as I “don’t eat meat.”
I don’t know why the note is dated. Must be a Chinese thing.
*The American Board of Neuro Linguistic Programming defines cynophobia as an anxiety disorder in which one becomes irrationally nervous and uneasy regardless of whether or not the dog presents a legitimate threat.