I have granted myself permission to use my friends as the subjects of this important study. We must first come to an understanding of the two sexes in order to end this war. (Please note: The quotation results are color-coded by girlfriends and guy friends. The colors were randomly selected.)
CASE STUDY #1: I have just been broken up with. My heart is ripped into two separate pieces.
- “Aww, I’m sorry, Whit. There are better guys out there for you.”
- “I bet he thinks you’re too exotic for him.”
- “What? No! He’s an idiot then.”
- "You were probably smothering him."
- “Give it more time. I’m sure he’ll call in a few days to ask you on another date.”
- “Drop the pants.”
- “Just be direct and ask him what he thinks.”
- "He's not interested in you."
- “I can’t believe he hasn’t called you! I saw you two together and he was totally showing interest. I don’t get it.”
- “You got traded in.”
- “That doesn’t mean anything. He’ll call.”
- “Dude, every guy wants to bang you.”
*His phone accidentally called my phone and left a 3 minute voicemail of ambient noise; this typically happens when someone sits on the phone located inside his/her back pants pocket.