“Why are you eating so much candy? That’s like your sixth piece!” says a family member at last night’s Thanksgiving. (The question, of course, is directed at me.) This is the general family consensus on junk-food eating – the utilitarian point of view, if you will. So I’d like to take the time to show you my support of the individual’s rights at Thanksgiving, which entails consumption of the food items and amounts listed here:
- 5 celery sticks
- a handful of pita chips
- a handful of cheese and crackers
- one-and-a-half pumpkin whoopie pies
- 4 bites of lumpy mashed potatoes
- a plump spring roll
- a slice of apple pie crust
- a blondie square
- 2 sips of Pinot noir
- 2 sips of Pinot noir mixed with 7 Up because the Pinot noir didn't taste good by itself, and only 2 sips because Pinot noir mixed with 7 Up doesn't taste good either
- and 6 PIECES OF CANDY
No, that’s not true. That’s just what ended up in my belly yesterday. My ideal Thanksgiving would be me, friends, and buckets of French fries, macaroni and cheese, pizza, and grilled cheeses. And it’d be called “Thanksgiving: Starch Spectacle.”
For the most part, I’m surviving this 4-day weekend – sort of. I’m still recovering from pretend-watching all that football. There’s what, 3? 4? games in a row? It was like watching a bad foreign film 3 (or 4) times back-to-back, with the characters/actors wearing the same clothes but in different colors for each repeat showing.
The one good part though: I won $33 playing Bingo with other people’s money yesterday!
Thanksgiving conclusion: smiles all around.