“Too bad I don’t have a seat. Otherwise, I’d offer it to you. You’re nice to look at.”
“Because you’re beautiful, it’s free.”

Two years ago, I was in a similar position of desperation. For the first time in my life, I was without a female BFF. Accordingly, I sought out to fix that. On the market for a new BFF, I hit the bars. I met a girl who had cute shoes on. We got to talking and, I complimented her on her shoes, among the other things I said to her…