Person listening to me: Ah! Then what happened?
Me: Nothing, I ran away. I wasn’t going to stick around to find out whether or not she was going to hit me or who knows what.
Person listening to me: Bold move.
Me: I was drunk enough – I would have stuck around after I said that to her…if I had the balls.
Person listening to me: I’m sure you’d do a lot of things if you had the balls.
* * *
Every time a guy dumped me, I would have said something more than, “Okay” – to show them anything other than, ‘This definitely isn’t the first time I’ve been on this side of this conversation’…
* * *
During an insult fight, I’d try to win the fight and actually hurt the other person’s feelings by screaming back a not-recently-and-previously-used insult…
“You’re acting crazy.”
“YOU’RE acting crazy!”
“You need to calm down.”
“YOU calm down!”
“You shouldn’t smoke.”
“YOU shouldn’t smoke!”
“You have to go to the hospital immediately to get that gun shot wound taken care of.”
“YOU go to the hospital immediately and get a gun shot wound taken care of!”