found this in a museum
After having updated my BFF (who lives 802
miles away from me) on the 2 classes I’m taking at night: “Well, duh. Museums are boring.”
I didn’t think so, before. But it seems I’m wrong.
I had explained to him that, the surprising thing is, my nonprofit management class is the interesting one. And my museum studies class is super dull. GOING(S) ON RECORD:
Museums - or, museum studies, is boring.
The professor thinks the Major League Baseball team is called the New England Red Sox.
Um, he can’t seem to pronounce his L’s even though he’s not Asian. In fact, he’s white. With bright blonde hair!
Most of the class is made up females. The few males that are
there, are not
Which reminds me. Someone pointed out to me recently that “looks aren’t everything,” and to “pay attention” in class, and “[possibly some other reproachful phrase].” PEE. EFF. EFF. TEE.
(That spells PFFT.)
This week is orientation week, which means the academic
year has begun.
As of yet, I have not seen a single good-looking male student.
I’m gonna go ahead and be pessimistic about this, and say that this probably means it’s going to be a bad year.
A dude at a Cuban
bar who was trying to get into my pants (even though I was wearing a dress) told me that he could hear my Boston
accent after I told him I live here.
I shouldn’t have to tell any of you this, but I will just to make sure you know: Of course
I don’t have an effing Boston accent.
I love America.
Always have. Always will.
Another nerd attack
happened to me.
Yesterday, in my intellectual property class. (In case you don’t know, it’s about inventions, brand names, and logos.) Nerd, grinning, raises hand.
“What if I reverse engineered the iPhone and figured out the exact process of taking apart an iPhone, could I patent that process?” Chuckle, chuckle.
Professor responds because it’s part of his job. He is paid to.
“Why - - What would be the purpose - - your goal in obtaining that patent?”
Nerd continues to torture me.
Goofier chuckle, then even goofier than that chuckle chuckle. “I don’t know.” Chuckle again. “Just because.” Yup, more goofy chuckling.
Don’t worry, I did not immediately drop this course after that attack. I’m not that intolerant of ultimate-nerds. Plus the add/drop deadline already passed.
And to be honest, this attack is in part my fault, because I just sat there and let it happen to me.
I don't know what else to do except make a new button:
Like I sometimes always say. GIVE IT UP FOR THE BULLIES!!
Almost 2 years, it’s been, working at a graduate school of education
. And what is THE topic of discussion and is considered the most frowned-upon behavior in schools? Bullying, supposedly. Except, how else are we to minimize nerd attacks?
My most recent nerd attack:
Since I get to take classes for free, I’m taking classes for free. One of my classes has a professor who asked us students to provide him with an example of a current information system with global effects. One of the students gave the answer of Facebook. The professor decided to expand on this answer with a personal example so that we could all better understand how said answer is suitable as a current information system with global effects in case we much-younger-than-he-is-students aren’t able to fully relate without his help. He is the professor, after all. He is the one who has spent his nearly entire existence in a school. He knows more than we do. Again, supposedly.
His personal example:
“Facebook – Good answer! Just today, I was thinking about this girl I had a really big crush on in high school and was wondering what she was doing with her life now, and then she sent me a message on Facebook!”
He paused so he could take in our faces-that-he-expected-to-be-of-impress.
Most of us looked confused. The rest/nerds looked at him, inspired by his story of being able to Internet-ly reconnect with his dream girl from over 25 years ago. I, naturally, looked disturbed.
Not to worry though - I officially dropped the class yesterday.
To conclude by borrowing the wise words of the Greatest Thinker, “This is what happens when you get rid of bullying. When you get rid of a species’s natural predator, it just grows exponentially.”
I do yoga, so I’m not into taking pills.
-This Year Student
I'm here bearing cookies. Who wants a cookie??
-Another This Year Student
I like to sing; however, in the shower.
-A Different This Year
Student Making a Joke
Can you tell who’s gay and who’s not? Dwight:
Of course. Michael:
What about Oscar? Dwight:
Absolutely not. Michael:
Well, he is. Dwight:
Well, he’s not dressed in women’s clothes, so… Michael:
There could be others. I need to know. I don’t want to offend anybody else. Dwight:
You could assume everyone is, and not say anything offensive. Michael:
Yeah. I’m sure everyone would appreciate me treating them like they were gay.
(The Office, Season 3, Episode 1, “Gay Witch Hunt”)
* * *
In September 2010, the It Gets Better Project
was launched by the journalist, Dan Savage, in response to suicides committed by students as a result of being bullied for being gay. The essence of the project is very simple – video clips of members and non-members of the gay community telling young gay viewers that “it gets better”; to instill hope in them.
Commendable cause, I’d say.
The school I work for contributed to the project by submitting a video of its gay faculty and staff members individually speaking to the camera, sharing a brief story about their past experience with discrimination, but that “it gets better.”
Again, commendable, I’d say.
Want to know what I’d say isn’t commendable? Showing the video at the school’s annual town-hall type meeting with a preface like, ‘At this school, we truly are pioneers in education. For example, we are addressing the problem of school bullying. Look at this video we made! Someone I showed it to cried after watching it, as did I.’
The same meeting that shows us slides of the construction plans for the new cafeteria being built, complete with a new pizza oven and multiple coffee stations, that we spend 20 minutes collectively oooo-ing and aahh-ing over – that takes place immediately prior to the It Gets Better video.
If the school was trying to highlight its progressiveness or raise awareness for gay bullying, it chose the wrong forum. The only effect the video had was spotlighting the gay employees. They should have given us an outline for the meeting at the start of it so I knew what to expect: ‘Today, we’ll be discussing our budget, office leases, grant funding, the new cafeteria - and, as an encore, we’ll show you all the gays who work here!’
Because this is what my face looked like during and after the video.
(Meredith’s reaction to Oscar announcing that he’s gay [because Michael made him])
More reactions from the same episode:
(reaction to Michael attempting to kiss Oscar)
(reaction to Michael succeeding in kissing Oscar)
One of the professors I work for invited me to sit in on her class this past Tuesday. As excited as I already was to get to observe this renown professor teach, I had no idea that my expectations were much too low.
* * *
I arrive at the classroom and find the grad students waiting by the entrance, as there was another class still in session. Mere seconds pass before I notice the apparent placement of the students.
Notice the group I’m standing closest to.* I guess we can't help but gravitate towards those we look most alike.
Nonetheless, my excitement reverts to its original level - there is no way the evening can get much better. Until I enter the classroom and sit down.
(After I had accepted my invitation from the professor, she had advised me to find a
"less good seat" when I attended the class, as the students need to have the better
seats in order to participate. I really thought I had followed her instructions, but,
honestly, I couldn't have found myself a less less-good-seat.)
Once seated and situated, I find myself next to the class' Teacher’s Pet. To give you a visual, she has hair like this:
bangs like these:
a face with a permanent smile:
and she's wearing ugly cowgirl boots (which is difficult to do; most cowgirl boots are rather cute).
While someone from the tech department is setting up the projector and opening up the room by sliding apart the movable wall, the teacher assistant asks the students to move their chair desks to form a horseshoe shape. I place my chair desk in front of the movable wall. Teacher’s Pet takes it upon herself to get a head start on the sliding of the movable wall. No one has knowledge of this, however, until the tech person is pushing one side of the wall and he hears an alarmed mousey voice from behind the movable wall panel.
“What are you doing??” the tech person asks (instead of ‘Oh my goodness, are you all right? I almost accidentally squished you!’ indicating that this must not be the first time she’s overstepped her role as student and interfered with his role as tech personnel during his set-up of the classroom). Teacher’s Pet makes her way out from behind the wall panel and proceeds to assist the tech person with pushing the wall panel (indicating that she thought he said ‘Annoying girl, I need your help on THIS side of the wall!’ and not irritatingly asked her what she was doing on the other side of the wall).
Teacher’s Pet goes on to add more chair desks to the horseshoe before finally settling down in her own seat to fidget within her allotted personal space.
At the end of class, Teacher’s Pet raises her hand to comment on another student’s comment during the class discussion. Teacher's Pet wanted to express how deeply touched she was by the other student's participation. “[blah blah blah]. [more gibberish]. Thank you for what you said. That’s going to stick with me for a long time,” she says, while holding her hands over her heart.
* * *
Oh yeah, the professor conducted a wonderful class.
*I only look like I’m a cool Asian; I am by no means cool.
My 8 year-old cousin received his 23rd Good Behavior Ticket from his teacher at school yesterday.
8 year-old cousin: I got 23 tickets! For good behavior.
Me: They’re still doing that? Teaching you guys things like “tooth fairies” and “good behavior?”
8 year-old cousin: Yeah.
I remember when I was in 2nd grade. It was supposed to be an awesome year of my life, but it was awful. The unsatisfactory box under conduct was checked on my report card! I was being discriminated against for having early-onset humor.
* * *
The Tale of the Little Girl with Early-Onset Humor
The teacher with skin made of leather was teaching a lesson to her class. Bored was the Little Girl. Her attention landed on a white mechanical pencil that did not have an eraser end.
The Little Girl thought that end of the pencil loosely resembled a toilet bowl and shared her observation with the other little girl in her group (the students sat in clusters of 4). The other little girl burst out with laughter. The teacher with skin made of leather demanded to know why the other little girl was disrupting the classroom. The other little girl answered, “It was Whitney! She was the one talking and made me laugh.” While pointing outward in an ambiguous direction, the teacher with skin made of leather roared, “Whitney, that was your last strike! Pick up your desk, and get out of the group!” The Little Girl picked up her desk and proceeded to exit the classroom for she misheard ‘group’ as ‘room’ and because the direction of pointing was not made obvious. The teacher with skin made of leather roared again, “Where are you going?” The Little Girl replied, “You told me to get out of the room.” The teacher with skin made of leather corrected the Little Girl and had her move her desk to the back of the classroom and face the wall.
(Like this. Except, the desk wasn't cute.) (It was one of these.)
The Little Girl was sentenced to solitary confinement for the remainder of the school year (5 months). All because someone laughed out loud at her pencil-toilet joke.
* * *
I believe the comment that was left under conduct was along the lines of, ‘Whitney is quite the chatterbox.’ Luckily, my English-as-a-second-language parents had no effing clue what that meant.
Here is a letter from my 8 year-old cousin's teacher who administers the Good Behavior Tickets.
This teacher is a big fat liar. He doesn’t even read his own letter about the importance of reading. See? These teachers make up "good behavior."